So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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