Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize