Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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