maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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