Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
