I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
