you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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