Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
