i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
