And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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