After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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