...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
