drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize