I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize