I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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