i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
