OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
