The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
