THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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