I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
