you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
