i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
