Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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