sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
