you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
