You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
