O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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