that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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