Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
