Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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