Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
