Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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