she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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