No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My feet surprised me
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