I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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