I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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