My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
