honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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