so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
