: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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