I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
