she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
