maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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