kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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