So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
