I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize