I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Two words: blizzard sex
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Drunk is a universal language darling
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
