i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
