I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
