yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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