did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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