We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize