I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
