woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
