Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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