I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
