Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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