So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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