had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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