I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
