I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
