whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
