Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
