So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
pray to the hookup gods
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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