Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
