I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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