Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
