so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize