is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
