Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
