Your face is a jimmy john
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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