she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
